The Red Velvet Rope

Yeah ok, it’s not velvet, but I couldn’t resist this combination of wood and knotwork.

Let’s get down to brass tacks. A red velvet rope is the barrier that shows you where the boundaries you can’t cross are. Galleries, museums, nightclubs, they all have them. We automatically know that stepping beyond that rope is crossing a line.

Like many women, I’ve not been a good custodian of my own boundaries, which has resulted in a lot of less than wonderful experiences.

Lessons learnt from my previous business have shown me that you can’t please everyone. Trying to only leads to resentment and burnout. This is not good for anyone.

To avoid this sort of situation happening again, I have decided that I will be very clear about my boundaries and expectations. My B&E – the personal version of T&C.

1. I am NOT a healer. I firmly believe, and science supports me on this, that the only person who can heal you is you. This applies to the physical just as much as the emotional.

I have a selection of tools available to me which can help you to heal yourself, but any healing that occurs is down to you! That might be a little bit scary to contemplate, but believe me, it may be the most empowering thing you will ever learn.

2. I am not a spoon feeder. If you aren’t prepared to do the work required of you, I’m not prepared to use up any more of my time to help you any further.

3. I am a big fucking fan of Anglo Saxon language. If you are offended by ‘foul language’ we’re going to rub each other up the wrong way, so please find someone more aligned with your verbal preferences.

4. There is a sign just inside the front door of my house which says:

be nice or leave

this applies to my online home as well as my physical home. I will not put up with:

  • any attempts at emotional or pseudo-ethical blackmail
  • trolling
  • personal abuse of myself, clients or friends.

I have a zero tolerance policy on this. One strike and you’re out.

I think that’s pretty much it. If you’re good with all of that, we should get along like a house on fire.