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Today’s BEDN is activism.

I don’t feel I can do this topic justice with just 25 minutes left in the day.

I have a lot to say here you see, but there is a danger that once the blue touch paper is lit, I’ll go off with a bigger bang than any Bonfire Night firework!

Many years ago, some idiot on the interwebz said, in around 140 characters, that I was a bandwagon jumper who just loved ranting about the latest thing.

I can’t recall why we’d got into this spatt, it was someone I’d had a pretty average twitter relationship with for sometime. I suspect I disagreed with something she’d tweeted.

She was wrong though (as peoole on the interwebz so often are!) The problem with me, if you can call it a problem, the older I get the more inclined I am to see it as a super power to be nurtured, is that I feel things deeply and passionately. Injustice of any kind ‘girds ma loins’ (please say that in a strong, R rolling, irnbru stylee Scottish accent).

I have been a very vocal, some have said militant, activist in the past. I was a founding member of a political organisation that is still gives short shrift to powers that didn’t ought to be.

I created a postcard campaign that, freedom of information requests showed, rattled the government.

I took my eldest children to a select committee meeting, where we fought the corner for working class families who home educated.

I was a member of Greenpeace back in the day, went on walks for the whales, supported a hunt sabbing boyfriend though I never went myself.

I’ve spoilt my ballot, non apathetically refused to vote, argued the reasons why on social media.

I’ve railed against certain charities whose ‘ethics’ aren’t very ethical. I’ve given talks, I’ve written posts, I’ve questioned when questions weren’t politik. I’ve blown the whistle on underhanded behaviour that was brought to my attention.

All of this has made me quite unpopular, but as I said in the post about acts of rebellion, I have to be able to live with my conscience.

Nowadays though, I mostly just want a quiet life. I feel jaded and defeated and exhausted by banging my head against the brick wall of a society that seems to give no fucks. So now, I’m a self activist. Doing what I can in the hope that it’s true what they say about the way to change the world is to change yourself.

Today’s prompt is light. If you follow me on my personal instagram account, you’ll know just how much I love light play. I am somewhat addicted to capturing the shadows and light that dance across the surfaces of my home.

I’m not quite sure exactly why I find it so fascinating, but I think it’s got something to do with the fleetingness of these moments. They can be gone in just a second, never to return in quite the same way again.

I suppose, if we were to get all D&M about it,  we could perhaps say that they speak to the human condition. Or summat.

They can be beautiful and puzzling and just plain fun.

Take last night as an example: my youngest spotted the light play in the image for this post, on the bathroom ceiling. She wondered why there were two images, and why they were different colours. We knew they were formed by light bouncing off the shaving mirror, but it took us a few minutes to work out exactly what was going on.

It turned out that the lampshade on the hallway ceiling light had been knocked, thus shining a light onto the mirror. When it was corrected, the disc of yellow light disappeared.

There was still the blue light to fathom out. At first we thought it was coming from outside, but that didn’t really make sense. Finally we realised it was coming from the led light in my bedroom, which I usually have turned off.

This is exactly the kind of fleeting or chance moment that I find fascinating; a sort of Sliding Doors light synchronicity if you like!

Anything that engages curiosity and problem solving is a win in my book – it’s part of that ethos of adventuring right where you are, that I talked about in day two’s travel prompt.

Do you notice things like this? If not, why not make an effort to indulge in some light play this week? Let me know if you do.

Today’s prompt is ….. [drumroll] …… style… oh how I laughed!

When something puzzles or intrigues me, I go looking for quotes to help me fathom things out. Style is not a word that I tend to associate with myself, but these little nuggets (sort of) helped:

‘Style is a reflection of your attitude and your personality.’ – Shawn Ashmore

Though as my first thought when I saw this prompt was ‘thrown together’, this quote made me feel a bit uncomfortable- is my personality ‘thrown together’? My attitude? Hmm, not sure how I feel about that one!

But, Oscar de la Renta – who, surprisingly I’d actually heard of! Only because many, many years ago, my parents, who must have still held the belief that I could become more lady like, and when duty free was available from the NAAFI, bought me a bottle of perfume from the brand. Or was it Fendi? Well, whatever, I’ve heard of Oscar, so I get some style points, right?! Anyway. Oscar said:

’Fashion is about dressing according to what’s fashionable, style is more about being yourself.’

Therefore, I do hereby decree, that I am the very essence of style!

Thrown together, hobo chic, comfy because … sensory issues, with a shade of alternative/goth throwback chucked in for good measure…. Let’s go with quirky shall we?

Thinking about it, I do believe Shawn is right: I’d say my style is not easy to define or pigeon hole, which DOES define my attitude and personality pretty well. Huh, who’da thunk it, this woman has style!

Today’s BEDN is a hat tip to the rebellious Yorkshireman, Guido Fawkes, with the prompt being to talk about an act of rebellion we’ve committed.

Honestly, there aren’t the hours in the day for me to contemplate this topic! I’m pretty sure that my first sound, as I came earth side, was a rebel yell. It’s so strongly ingrained in my soul that it’s hard to think of one example, when my entire life feels like an act of rebellion and resistance!

Would you like to hear about the forged letters sent to Sister G, the terrifying headmistress at my convent boarding school, that enabled me and my two friends to escape for a dirty weekend with our boyfriends?

Or perhaps you’d like to hear about the pims cocktails I made in the dorm sink?

Maybe the playing of an extremely blasphemous punk song, or refusing to go to chapel on a weekday, what with my being a pagan and a heathen (according to sister Ursula, the dorm mistress).

Perhaps you’d be curious about tbe time I was investigated by counter terrorist police because I took photos of the Stanlow oil refinery (I liked the chimneys!)

Maybe you’d like to hear about the time I created a rabble rowsing FB group that took on the government, or the stop animation protest video my family made?

The times I’ve gone head to head with authority figures who haven’t had a clue what they were talking about?

I could go on and on. But are they acts of rebellion? Or are they just the result of a naturally curious and questioning mind?

I don’t (generally) rebel for the sake of it (well ok the pims cocktails were pure, stupid, teenage rebellion) I simply follow my own strong sense of right and wrong, which doesn’t make for an easy life, nor does it lead to popularity! But I’d sooner that than feel that I’d gone against my own conscience.

There have been times when it’s seemed as though it would be easier not to go on, but here I am, still here, still striving to make a difference in whatever way I can. Still upsetting people, often, it feels, just for daring to exist.

Perhaps then, my greatest act of rebellion is in surviving.

‘Let food by tby medicine and medicine by they food.’

Today’s BEDN prompt is about health, and ways we keep ourselves healthy. Big topic!

This is something that I could write reams about, on many different areas of health, but I have 20 minutes left in day so I will aim for brevity!

The healthiest I have been was when I was following a paleo diet. I was able to maintain a weight that was optimum for me, I had lots of energy, few aches and pains, and was just generally pretty fit and healthy.

Unfortunately, largely due to financial restrictions, ‘proper’ paleo went out of the window about 2 years ago, when I added potatoes and rice back in to my diet. Since then I’ve piled on tbe weight and am now nearing the heaviest I have ever been.

I try to compensate to a degree through the use of turmeric capsules, which do ease some of the joint pain I suffer (it’s noticeable when I forget to take them) along with CBD oil, and recently Copiaba essential oil for it’s super fast acting analgesic properties.

Ultimately I need to get back to paleo, as it is the thing that works best for me. That’s probably the best tip I would ever give anyone – find what works for you, it might not be what you think it will be, it might not be what others tell you it will be, the only way you’ll know what’s best is by really listening to your own body. And believing and trusting it enough to steer you in the right direction for you.

From a mental health perspective – EFT. I’ve not had a panic attack since I starting using it properly, and it cleared up tbe debilitating ptsd symptoms I’d suffered witb for a long time.

There! Short and sweet! I hope I have more time for tomorrow’s prompt, but I’m going with ‘done is done’ right now!

I probably shouldn’t leave blogging until so late in the day, but I am finding it takes the edge of the ever present perfectionism streak.

Today’s BEDN prompt is lists. And in my befuddled, been a long day, brain state, I’m just seeing the other meaning of listx, and it’s making me come over all pirate. I’m working hard to keep it off the page, but it’s there in my mind and it’s one hell of a distraction!

You can probably tell from that little insight that my brain is of the scatty variety, the type that would benefit from keeping a list or three. You would be right. Lists do help me enormously, and I derive great pleasure from crossing things off, and yes, I am one of those people who adds things that really have no need to be listed, just to have more crossings off.

I do have a problem with list keeping though. As in the actual keeping of them. Perhaps I might attempt an ode to the lost lists. It might make for a curious thriller: The Lost Lists of …… Lossiemouth? Perhaps not. Perhaps what I should do instead is to write a list that starts with:

1. Get more sleep

But that sets me up to fail straight away, so a new list would have to be started, one that has easy wins.

1. Be in bed by 10.30pm

Much more doable, takes the pressure off this insomniac….. but…. it’s ten to eleven already…. another fail.

Many people use lists as a way to reduce tbe pressure, to take away the brain strain; their lives are vastly improved and much more focused as a result. But my brain, whilst absolutely understanding the theoretical benefits of a good organisational list, gets overwhelmed by the pressure. I get how bonkers this must sound to the list making pros, I really do, but anything that comes under the executive functioning banner has me flailing.

I could go into great and boring detail about how this impacts my life, but it’s nearly tomorrow again, and who could be bothered reading it anyway? So instead I’ll close, with a list unmade, but having managed to stop the ‘speak like a pirate day’ voice in my head. Maybe I could put THAT at the top of a list …

Perhaps if I try to stop listing I’d find myself on a more even keel…,, yeah, it’s late and I’m showing a little too much of my crazy!

list
/lɪst/Submit
verb
verb: list; 3rd person present: lists; past tense: listed; past participle: listed; gerund or present participle: listing
1.
(of a ship) lean over to one side, typically because of a leak or unbalanced cargo.
“the ship was listing badly”
synonyms: lean, lean over, tilt, tip, heel, heel over, careen, cant, pitch, toss, roll, incline, slant, slope, be at an angle, bank, keel over
“the boat listed to one side”
antonyms: be on an even keel

image of listing ship from wikipedia